Getting Through It (Hubbin’s Cancer)

People have said to me (many times) that Hubbin’s cancer and subsequent treatment options are his road, his path, and that I should not take it so personally. I strongly disagree but having said that, I realize that’s just me and how I am. I do tend to take things personally, especially if they affect my world, and this has definitely affected my world. More than once the “what-ifs” have raised their ugly heads and sometimes it’s hard to breathe as I try to prepare myself for the next stage in his process. Several times I’ve had to just distance myself in order to keep it together, and guess what? Crying in the shower is a thing for me these days.

But, having said that, each day I get up, get dressed, make my bed, make a cup of coffee, put on a smile, and handle my day as if it’s an ordinary one, not one devoted to the Big “C.”

Hubbin had surgery to remove his thyroid – they saved his vocal cord nerve and his para-thyroid, so he can still speak and won’t have to take calcium supplements the rest of his life. They didn’t get it all, so this week, Hubbin is banished to the other end of the house as he quarantines from having Radioactive Iodine as part of his treatment plan.

It turns out there is not a lot of information regarding the spouse in all of this. Hubbin has to stay away from others for seven to ten days, but those same sources say it’s okay for him to be around me in three days, as if my safety should not be a concern. I’ve tried to research what happens to me if I come in contact with his toxicity, but there’s very little to read on THAT subject, and the cancer doctor seemed dismissive of my questions, probably since this is not my own road, not my path, but I don’t know.

Anyway, we have a spot in the hallway where I drop off food, drinks, and snacks for him to take back into his side of the house, all put on disposable dishes. Not sure what we are going to do with all of his trash at the end of the quarantine process, but I’m taking one day at a time here.

Two other thoughts here before moving on to happier posts.

First, “They” say that thyroid cancer is the most common and the most treatable and has the best success rate of all the cancers, but to me, cancer is cancer, so please don’t try to gift wrap it when you’re talking to me about it.

Second, and on a lighter note, Hubbin says he does not feel like he’s gained any super-powers after the radiation; I want to see if he could light up a low wattage light bulb.

I’ll post pictures if he can!