Father’s Day for the Mothers

Yes, I said it, Father’s Day for the mothers. Today’s meandering has nothing to do with being woke, prejudiced, or advocating for any specific gender; it has everything to do with being a single parent.

Women who are single parents have to do it all. They play several roles and fill both sets of shoes, the mother and the father in many cases. I’ve worn those shoes, so this today’s meandering over the ever-present cup of coffee was about the roles I’ve had to play.

Mothering was always a given for me, a choice I was complacent about, along with much of my life after high school graduation. I had no thoughts or plans of continuing my education. Can I blame anyone for that? Probably, but that’s water under the bridge and probably best left for another day. That being said, I leapt into a relationship shortly after graduation, got married just after I turned nineteen, and nine months later, had the first of three children. We split up while I was pregnant with my second, and I was truly on my own after we tried again to make it work a couple years after she was born. He disappeared from the scene and it was up to me to play the mom and dad. You know what? No matter how hard you try, you are still going to be outnumbered, no matter how much you pretend to have it together. The expression, “Just wait until your father gets home,” is both ineffectual and laughable *grinning here*

So what’s a woman to do? The pat answer is “Try your best” but really, that advice is just stupid. There were days I wondered if I could keep my own head above water and feeling as if I was sinking into the mud. It took all I had just to trudge to bedtime! My “best”?!? I barely made it to “Try”!

If you’ve never been in those shoes, it may be difficult for you to empathize with someone who has had to do it all – work, maintain a house (think laundry, meals, cleaning, maintenance), pay bills, shop for groceries, AND be responsible for raising children to become productive members of society, all while trying keeping herself together. It was a struggle to maintain that pace every day; Heck, sometimes it was difficult to just make it into the next hour!

So today’s blog is about me sharing the thought that the single moms need a shout out for taking on the role of father for whatever reason or choice put them in that position, because they deserve it. If you have a moment and know of such a special person, how about giving them a call? I’m sure they would appreciate hearing an adult voice. I know I did.

Happy Father’s Day to all the mothers!