I DO care, but I may not MIND

Years ago, I was married to a guy who had children from a previous marriage. I had two of my own and both sets of children were comparing notes one day. I overheard my daughter telling her new stepsister that she had chores to do.

My daughter: My mom makes me make my bed every morning.

My stepdaughter: My mom doesn’t care if I don’t make my bed.

My daughter: My mom makes me take turns doing chores around the house.

My stepdaughter: My mom doesn’t care if I do chores.

My daughter: My mom says I have to be in bed by 9 p.m. on school nights.

My new stepdaughter: My mom doesn’t care what time I go to bed.

Then my daughter told her, “My mom says I can’t date until I’m 16.”

My young stepdaughter gleefully responded, “My mom doesn’t care if I date.”

I paused and listened to what my daughter would say next.

My daughter shut her up with, “Well, it sounds to me like your mom just doesn’t care.”

This has stuck with me all these years later, and since then, I’m careful how I phrase my answer to, “Do you care if I _______?”

Because I DO care, but I may not MIND.