Selective Hearing Loss

I have selective hearing loss. What I mean is that I only hear what I want to hear, usually if I am in the middle of something and am concentrating and deep in thought. I won’t hear children screaming, I won’t hear a timer going off, I won’t hear my Hubbin talking to me, until any of them give me some kind of LOUD poke to get my attention.

I’ve had my hearing checked, several times in fact, so I know it’s selective and not just my age creeping up on me. That being said, I also tend to mis-hear what people are saying to me, especially if they are not enunciating clearly or are trying to talk to me through a closed door. So I am visiting my nephew, niece, and their children this week, and as I’m mentally planning what to have for dinner, one of the kids calls to me through the door, “Hey Auntie, we might have a tomato tonight.”

I’m searching my brain for a recipe that children their age will eat that I can fix that includes a tomato, when it finally occurs to me that this particular child is obsessed with weather, so he’s not saying “tomato,” he’s saying, “tornado.”

I cannot think of a better alter-ego name for such an event, and now I tell my friends that we might get a tomato tonight, and they know what I mean, and of course, we laugh as we watch the sky.